Crusher: You have an appointment in your cabin, Captain, with your bed!
Picard: Is that an order, Doctor?
Scanned images of the Star Trek Master Series art, This time showing scenes from various episodes of TNG
Behind the scenes on First Contact.
Source: Star Trek The Next Generation: The Continuing Mission [Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens] 1997
I think one of my dorkiest forms of dorkiness is the urge I get near Christmas time to imagine certain groups of favourite characters celebrating Christmas together, even if they come from a setting where Christmas celebrations don’t belong.
Christmas on the Enterprise D, for example. I don’t imagine it on the original Enterprise, or on Deep Space Nine, but gosh would I enjoy a very TNG Christmas. You don’t need that much justification; say Data is doing research into human seasonal festivities and everyone else is humouring him.
- Riker powders his hair and beard white and plays Santa Claus for the Enterprise children. He does an absolutely excellent job and not one of them freaks out and cries. (One of the details from early episodes that I absolutely loved is that not only did Riker take on Picard’s request from the pilot to kind of shield him from the children on board, he knew all their names and was on friendly terms with them.) At the grown-ups’ Christmas party after the children are put to bed he goes into Twinkly Eyed Innuendo Overload and unwisely attempts to play carols on the tuba.
- Everyone expects Picard to hide away in his quarters and have to be cajoled out, but SURPRISE he fuckin’ loves Christmas and spends hours mulling wine from his family’s vineyard (not the best stuff, obviously).
- Worf does Hanukkah instead because lbr his foster parents were so Jewish. He and Geordi, who celebrates Kwanzaa, commiserate. Then Geordi goes off to the Christmas party anyway and Worf is like TRAITOR. (grumbles into beard, spins dreidl)
- Q declares himself Lord of Misrule, appoints Wesley Captain, makes Picard wear a rainbow sweater.
- In other sweater news, Data’s festive sweater sets a new record for woollen awkwardness.
- His reindeer antler headband, however, is quite a success. He looks like a cute twit and gets kissed a lot even when no mistletoe is present.
- O’Brien and Keiko perform ‘Fairytale of New York’ at the adults’ Christmas party, make everyone uncomfortable with the ‘old slut on junk/cheap lousy faggot’ verse.
- Beverly then performs the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy and it is much better.
- Picard makes a moving, eloquent and subtly sentimental speech about peace on all planets and goodwill to all sentient beings.
game night at my house